Remembering the "Satanic Panic"

I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but somehow throughout my childhood and adolescence, I was interested in several of the things that became cultural taboos for a time. I understand that it is human nature to fear, and specifically, to fear for your child. My parents fell for the fundamentalist, ignorant garbage that was the "satanic panic" of the 80's. As a result, we constantly battled over my interests. My interest in D&D and other RPGs was "unhealthy". Not once did anyone ever ask me (not that I would have been eloquent enough to explain it; I was a kid after all) why these things were important to me. I was a little nerd. I was an introvert; shy and uncomfortable around most people. I wasn't really into sports after grade school. I was constantly made fun of and bullied through middle school.  This was my way to cope with a world that I did not feel welcome in. I found a small group of people with whom I could share this game, and they were like me in many ways. Ultimately, my parents would actually, literally make me burn all of my RPG books in the backyard one day. I did not stop playing, and would periodically revisit it (and things like it) throughout my adult life. In fact, I didn't really stop until after 4th Edition came out.

Likewise, as I got a bit older, my musical tastes changed as well. My parents also became concerned about this.  They actually thought I might be gay at one point (which of course was also horrific to them) because I liked Michael Jackson, Duran Duran and Prince (RIP!). I quickly moved through different genres, eventually getting to rock and hip hop, and then to metal. They repeated patterns of fear and misunderstanding, being led by such influential figures as James Dobson and Focus on the Family. Their involvement in our church (ironically) became obsessive.  We were there ALL THE TIME. First to arrive, last to leave. I had to go to every youth event they offered. And I was the black sheep there as well. There were many long discussions turned to arguments over my musical taste, eventually ending in the same result as before. Albums confiscated from me because they were deemed unhealthy. My musical tastes are as varied (and extreme in some cases) as ever.  See my blog here for evidence.

I still see these types of fears taking over today.  Blame mental illness for mass shootings, never mind that we as a country do not really understand mental illness and its stigma. Never mind that statistically, violent crime is not associated with mental illness.  Blame drugs or addiction.  Blame the poor. Blame other religions. Blame the government.  It's all a series of granfaloons, of making distinctions between the Self and the Other.  Look, terrible things happen.  Sometimes people are simply awful (and it's not because of videogames or whatever other modern taboo you want to assign to it). And we shouldn't be surprised by this; there are more people on the planet than there ever has been before. If a certain percentage are bad, then it follows that more people means more bad people. But it also means more good people.  Or even take morality out of it altogether. It's more people in general, who have the same needs, wants, hopes, desires and dreams as you.

I'm still into fantasy and science fiction. I still love metal. I love horror movies. My RPG interest has been replaced with a love of other types of tabletop games.  I love to create, whether it's through food or music or writing or whatever strikes my fancy.

The main thing that has changed? Now I'm a parent.  And I hope to never forget what it was like growing up being (and discovering) me.  I hope to pass these things on to my son, and I plan to encourage creativity, imagination and free thinking.  If he gets interested in something I don't understand or don't care for, I hope that instead of scapegoating I will make an effort to understand what it is he enjoys about it first. Correlation is not causation (and sometimes it's not even really correlation in the first place). I hope to be able to share things that are meaningful (and fun) together, but must also be prepared to let go (and when) our interests diverge. And I will find a way to talk about things in a way that doesn't further alienate us from one another. Maybe that was my parents' intent as well, and it just got away from them (I blame religion and fear-mongering). But I strongly believe that you cannot move towards understanding with someone if your first assertion to them is that what they are doing or who they are is wrong.